Driving home from picking Emberly up from daycare last night:
Emberly: “Mom, why am I only one kid?”
Mom: “What do you mean?”
E: “Why am I just one kid?”
M: “Well, who’s not one kid?”
E: “Like, when Jade’s with me. Jade and me are two kids.”
M: “Right, but Jade’s only one kid.”
E: “But how come I’m only one kid and no one sits by me” pointing over to the seat next to her in the car where her cousins sit when riding with us.
M: “Oh, you mean you want someone to sit in the back with you?”
E: “Yes!”
M: “Do you mean you want a baby brother or a baby sister?”
E: “Yes Mommy! I want a baby brother or sister. I want a baby brother so he can sit here with me.”
M: “Oh, okay.”
E: “Why don’t I have a little brother? Can I have a little brother to play with me?”
M: “Sure Emberly. Mommy and Daddy will see what we can do to get you a little brother or sister.”
E: “Okay. Thanks Mommy.”
Not exactly sure how you explain infertility to a three year old.
I don’t know, either, other than being honest. Not all families have siblings; some by choice, some by circumstance. That doesn’t make their families any less complete. Maybe you could focus on how many friends she has or cousins that are special, etc.
We do try and focus on all the cousins/friends she has that she gets to play with daily at daycare. I think what’s hard at this point is the not knowing if she’ll be an only child. If we were set on not having any more children, then I could explain to her what it means to be an only child, blah, blah, blah. Since we’re trying now to get pregnant again, with no positive results after trying to almost a year, I feel like I’m left to tip toe around the subject. I don’t want to sell her on being a big sister if we end up never being able to have another child, but I also don’t want to prepare her for being an only child only to have her world turned upside down if we do get pregnant.
Of course, being 3, she’ll probably forget we even had this conversation.
When she gets annoyed at her sibling in a few years and asks you why she couldn’t be only 1, remind her that she asked for someone. Hopefully she doesn’t bring it up again.
Brilliant idea Jen! I’ll definitely be tucking that one away b/c you KNOW that will happen.
I find it difficult to explain why I was able to have a few kids and then I’m dried up to my kids. Not fair if you ask me.
Not fair at all, Shana. I wouldn’t even know how to respond calmly to that. Just the thought of your situation peeves me.