Archive | September, 2009

C is for cookie! Oh wait, nevermind.

29 Sep

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned my part time job on here before, but I do on-call for the local mental health center. Basically, if anyone in the two counties that I cover is a threat to themselves or others, I get called to evaluate. I can either put them on a 72 hour court ordered mental hold and hospitalize them OR have them sign a No-Harm Contract and have the office set up further meetings. Let me remind you all that I live in literally, the middle of NOWHERE. The closest hospital with a psych unit is 2 1/2 hours away. And of course, since we’re in the sticks, the big city hospitals don’t care to really help us. More often than not, I cannot find a bed for someone who needs to be hospitalized, especially if that person is in police custody.

So, I get a call last night from a mental health coworker before my on-call time even starts. Apparently the jail has a man who was arrested earlier in the day for domestic violence against his wife. The couple isn’t from here and was just passing through but staying at the hotel for a bit. Right away we know we won’t be able to send him anywhere. Basically, the jail just calls me because the man stated he was going to kill himself while ranting about how he shouldn’t be there and that he just needed to talk to his wife and they need some guidance. Apparently jails have never heard of putting an inmate on suicide watch, but, whatever.

I show up to the jail to hear someone screaming. A sheriff’s deputy comes out and says, “Do you hear that? That’s who we called you about.” Great. This should be fun. While the sheriff’s department was awaiting our response to their call, they had put the gentleman into a restraint chair. His arms and legs are bound and a harness keeps his body close to the chair. Legally, they are only allowed to hold someone in this chair for 2 hours. Before I was notified of the call and responded, over two hours had passed. Luckily, our law abiding deputies decided they should take him out of the chair as it had been 2 hours, and put him into a holding cell. Basically a cement cell with nothing but a toilet and cement “bed.” While he was in there alone for 5 minutes, he proceeded to piss and shit all over everything. I kid you not, when I walked by the holding cell, toilet paper was hanging from the window surrounded by a ton of brown marks. I’m sure you can guess what the brown stuff was.

I guess legally, there’s nothing saying how long you have to keep someone OUT of the chair. And the tight arm of the law decided that redecorating a holding cell with your own feces is grounds for the chair, again.

So, the deputy opens the door to the cell with the chair and tells the gentlemen that she has a lady here to talk with him. Right then he says, “I told you I’m not talking to anyone but my wife!” Obviously since he was arrested for DV, he’s not going to be talking with his wife anytime real soon. So, I calmly say to the man, “Sir, do you realize that that is not an option right now?”

Ooops. Shouldn’t have said that!

He looked at me and said, “Fuck you, you fucking c*unt (rhymes with bunt). I wasn’t fucking talking to you. C*nt. This is an A, B conversation, so C*NT your way out of it!” Pure genius. I mean really, I never even THOUGHT to say ‘c*nt your way out of it.’ Perfect.

Sadly, his response meant that my job there was finished. The client was obviously unwilling to talk to me. Oh darn. As I waited for the deputy to finish talking to him, I hear him tell her, “There are three things that I can promise you I’m going to do: I’m NOT going to stop shitting and pissing all over and I’m NOT going to clean it up. Oh, and I’m not going to talk to any fucking c*nts either.”

Man, I really wish I could have been there to watch them “walk” his strapped-in ass be rolled over to the hospital for that shot of Haldol.

There are times I wonder if I get paid enough for this job. But with stories like this, it more than makes up for the little pay.

Spewing brilliance

28 Sep

I’ve noticed lately that more of my posts are me apologizing for being gone and promising to write more frequently soon. Well, I’ve figured out what my problem was/is. I feel like in order to post anything that is “blog worthy,” it must be a brilliant entertaining post. Well, fuck that. I’m tired of trying to hop myself up on caffeine so that I’m on top of my writing game. Let’s face it people, I’m not a writer, I just like to pretend I can be comical at times.

I think I’m going to try to just post more, even if it’s about nothing, boring, or redundant. I need to get back to it. I was feeling better when I was writing stuff out and no one millions of people were reading it.

I never updated you. I met with the new doctor, let’s call her Dr.Coolio, cause she’s awesome like that. She’s my age (thanks for making me feel like even more of a loser who has done nothing with her life!) and just moved to town with her SAHhusband and two kids. We discussed the whole new anxiety thing and she said my Zoloft should be covering that and the depression. So. I am going to go off of my bcp and get the Mirena. I’m a little nervous. I did great on the mini-pill when I was breastfeeding, so I hope it will have the same effects on my mood/hormones. However, I’m not sure how I’ll be if my period stops coming. I mean, I’ll be in heaven, but I just may be taking a pregnancy test every other week. Better stock up at Costco. Plus, there have been a few people who have had issues with it. Of course, there’s always someone who’s had some type of reaction to something, so let’s just hope it doesn’t happen with me. Anyways, I’m going in on the 5th of October to have it inserted. I’ll let you know how that goes. Plus, I can’t really back out of it now. We live so far in BFE that they had to order the Mirena. God forbid they’d have to send it back! Well, that, and since I’ve already met my deductible shooting a baby out my vagina, I figured, why not try it while insurance is flipping the bill.

TTYS, promise!


4 Sep

I should really get my butt in gear with posting. I guess I keep thinking that whatever I post needs to be witty and intelligent and let’s face it, that takes a lot of work from me 😉
Life has been going pretty well. Dr. Awesome has finally moved on 😦 but we hope the new doctor that is replacing him is just as awesome. I’ll find out come next Tuesday. I’m meeting with her to discuss IUDs and maybe some anti-anxiety pills. I’m over this whole period thing. It’s annoying and ridiculous.
As far as the anxiety thing, I just don’t know. The Zoloft has made things better, I’m no longer crying for unexplained reasons. However, I still have this overabundance of fear that I am going to lose Emberly. It gets to the point where it will consume my thinking and make me cry (notice now I’m crying for a reason, not just to cry 🙂 ) One of my friends recently commented and mentioned anti-anxiety meds. Funny that I’ve never contemplated those before. I guess I always just figured it was depression and nothing more. (You know, I don’t like that sentence and I’m not going to rewrite it. Depression is a huge thing that needs to be more widely recognized and respected. What I meant, is that I thought it was my regular depression that is easily handled with talking with people and meds. I think this is more.) So, I will break in this new doctor with all of my craziness and we’ll see how she does. Hopefully I’ll have a full report come Wednesday. Bear with me people, I’ll get my ass together and be here to entertain you more frequently. Until then, tootles!