Archive | December, 2009

Happy whatever the hell you’re celebrating at this time!!!

23 Dec

I figured I’d take a shot at all of this PC jackassery. How am I doing? (Yes, jackassery is a word. Microsoft just isn’t smart enough to include it in their spellcheck. Jackasses).

I hope you all get to spend time with loved ones and remember all of those we no longer have, but are truly better for having known.

My marriage is on the rocks and it’s all my daughters fault!

14 Dec

I know, I know. How can you blame your sweet innocent little daughter for your marital issues. Well, it’s quite easy, really. You see, before Embers came along, I was blissfully and naively happy. Things had happened in our relationship that I’m not proud of and would probably do differently if I had the chance. One side is completely to blame. I should have stood up for myself a long time ago.
Why my marriage is on the rocks now, is solely Emberly’s doing. I know she didn’t set out to sabotage our relationship. At first, she made it stronger. However, as time went on and I fell more in love with Emberly, I realized just how stupid I had been. Before my actions only affected me. Now, what I do and how I act will impression my daughter. I can no longer sit idly by and continue cycles that should never been started. I have the strength now to stick up for myself and become a better example for my daughter. Mind you, the strength that gets me going is not my own, rather the strength Emberly puts upon me. She’s my sweet little angel, and like every other parent, I want only the best in life for her.
It has gotten to the point where actions that used to infuriate and hurt me before, have no meaning to me now. I’m numb. The only pain and hurt I feel is what these actions could be teaching Emberly. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to start feeling again for myself in this relationship. For now, I just know that I will do what I can to make sure Emberly grows up knowing that she deserves to only be treated with respect, love and patience. She should never determine her worth in regards to what others tell her. I didn’t learn this until I met her. And for that, I owe her the world. I’m glad that my marriage is going through changes. While I don’t want it to end, I want us to start anew the way we should have done before. We owe it to us, we owe it to Emberly.