Being a parent to a toddler is kind of like being in an abusive relationship; No matter how many times they hit you, yell at you and make you cry, you still go back to them wanting more.

21 Jul

I actually think being a parent is , at times, worse than being in an abusive relationship. You can NEVER leave parenting. Well, you can, but as news to some of you, I actually have a few morals. I know, THAT is the final sign of the apocalypse. Start praying people.

Anyway, I think Emberly is just taking advantage of the fact that I  recently stopped taking my Zoloft. Oh hi, yes, I have stopped taking my medication. Did I also forget to mention that I have finished therapy also? No?! Hmmm, maybe I should try putting together a place where I can write these things down. Someplace accessible like on the internet. I wonder if they even have such a thing. Oh well, let’s get back to the point. I did fantastical in therapy (btw, spellcheck didn’t catch fantastical! who knew that was an actual word?! No one, because it’s NOT!). I was able to really talk things through with my therapist and catch myself reciting my own story instead of what others were saying.  It was great. I could have spent hours just talking with her, just not at $90/hr. She was good, but not that good. I didn’t even orgasm! Maybe next time the cheaper quicker way to go would be a hooker.

FOCUS! (I’m thinking next stop is Ritalin.) I figured since I seem to be getting closer to actually living in reality, I should try weaning myself off of the Zoloft. I took my time, a week 😉 , and tapered off. I think I haven’t taken any Zoloft in about a week now. Naturally, Emberly felt NOW would be a great time to start tantrums. That sweet little thing thinks it’s a grand idea to scream, cry and slap me while saying NO. At least I know she should be golden come her teenage years.

This great new attitude and lack of good drugs, however, led me to a breakdown dropping her off at daycare yesterday morning. I just couldn’t handle it anymore, the screaming was too much. I didn’t hurt her or shake her or anything, I just broke down. I had to apologize to my DCP for being a fool, to which she thanked me for making her feel more normal for how easily she cries.  After all of that stress and nonsense, wouldn’t you know, by lunch yesterday I was wanting to pick up my little Rosemary’s Baby and snuggle with her. Thankfully, when I picked her up later that afternoon, she reminded me that it wasn’t all in my head. She gladly threw another fit b/c I UNSTRAPPED her from her carseat when we got home.

I may be able to stay off Zoloft, but hopefully the copay for street drugs isn’t as high!

P.S. If you happen to see an entry just before this that looks like it may have been written by a juvenile male, it was just me testing 😉 out my new blog writer on my computer. Sorry.

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4 Responses to “Being a parent to a toddler is kind of like being in an abusive relationship; No matter how many times they hit you, yell at you and make you cry, you still go back to them wanting more.”

  1. gorillabuns July 26, 2010 at 4:36 pm #

    i have to say, i’ve been trying to quit my Prozac because I get the shakes but when I try to….. I get crazier.

    • insertwittytitleheremomstired July 27, 2010 at 7:41 am #

      I know. It’s a damn catch 22. When I was on Zoloft, nothing bothered me..which wasn’t always good. Now, everything just annoys me. Fun times.

  2. tracey August 18, 2010 at 3:37 pm #

    The best part about the whole parenting gig is that they keep growing up! It’s fabulous. They go through good phases and make you think you’ve got your shit together and then they turn about 11 or so and become pre-teens who think their crap don’t stink and that YOU are the ENEMY and it’s just oodles of fun, I tell you. I understand why some parents eventually say that they are HAPPY when their kids graduate. I always thought they were cruel. I now know that they are just being honest.

    Good luck on the new step. Remember that if it doesn’t work the first time, you CAN go back to the Zoloft and try again. Hormones and depression and LIFE is a bitch at times.

    • insertwittytitleheremomstired August 19, 2010 at 8:12 am #

      I swear that our kids are intentionally f*cking with us, you know? I’m pretty positive that Emberly knows exactly what buttons to push to make me think I’m insane..and she’s 18 months!
      As soon as she was born and they told me she was a girl, I started dreading the teen years. If she’s anything like me during adolescence, we’re in for a real treat, more Zoloft (or Xanax), and a few replaced doors broken from being slammed.
      Is it too early to get a ticker counting down to her high school graduation?

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