It’s been over two months now since I stopped taking my Zoloft and started trying Fish Oil as a supplement. Sadly, that really just doesn’t cut it. After about the 10th time of my husband so helpfully stating that I should “just stop feeling like that. Just be happy!” I figured maybe he’s right. Sure I quickly jumped to even more pissed upon hearing him say that each time. However, two days ago I thought about it. Maybe my problem isn’t just hormones and being tired of dealing with idiots. Maybe my problem is me.
So, yesterday I decided I would try something new. Instead of getting upset with every little thing, I was going to make a conscious effort to just be happy. Let me tell you, it’s fucking tough. I remember always hearing about having to do something a certain amount of times in order to make it a habit (bear with me since I’m really good with details, obviously) so I thought that that is what I’ll do with happiness. I was going to force myself to be happy, damnit!
The morning started out pretty well. Emberly was entertaining upon waking and was actually willing to use the potty first thing. I thought this was a sign of great things to come. My only obstacles would be with the idiots at work. Au contraire, Mother Nature, kharma, whatever you want to call it, had a different plan. As we were walking out the door to start our day, I went to grab my wedding rings where I normally safely store them (the kitchen counter behind my prescriptions. Isn’t that where everyone keeps their jewelry?) Guess what wasn’t there. My rings! Oh, here go hell come! I’m not sure what I was more afraid of, telling my husband the news or dealing with Jared’s replacement policy. After much fretting and an hour or two of Britt ingeniously looking exactly where I had already looked, he had mentioned that perhaps I had taken them off while napping on our drive home from our weekend trip. Lo and behold, my rings were right there in the passenger side door. Nice try Universe, but I’m not going down so easy.
I continued on with my Forced Happiness…until about lunch. Do you recall me mentioning a little something about working with idiots? No, well, I do. Our business is mainly just labor intensive, no real thinking, so most of our employees are basically just hired muscles…and not even hot ones at that. Mediocre muscles, little to no brains. We’ve been having issues with one employee, in particular, for months now. Instead of firing him and dealing with unemployment, we were just biding our time until he was scheduled to quit and join a harvest crew. Well, we couldn’t hold out two more weeks. He had reached his breaking point, yelling and threatening us, and we had to let him go. Right at lunch. I don’t eat well while stressed and add on the fact that I had to figure and write his last paycheck while he waited in the other office yelling at how horrible we are to our employees. Apparently, it’s some law that businesses are required to give employees raises after 90 days of working there. Thank sweet baby jesus our ex-employee informed us of that one! Jackass. I can’t wait to hear the complaint that he was threatening to go to the Work Force with against us. But you know what, screw him! He’s not going to force me to not force myself to be happy! Damnit!
The rest of the day actually went pretty well. There was one more instance that I had to stop myself from getting mad, but that’s just because my Core Training instructor decided to go all Jillian Michael’s on our asses and I did not want to push myself any harder. Of course, being the smart one that she is, she knew that the extra push would actually make the rest of my night fantastic.
No, let’s just see how Day Two of Project Force Happiness plays out.